Florence's Wedding

Florence's Wedding
The wedding was beautiful. There was a traditional wedding before the church wedding which is very symbolic. A calabash bowl is packed with a needle & thread to show the wife will take care of the husband's clothes, stitch them & keep the home, a bitter & a sweet cola nut symbolizing marriage has sweet & bitter times. A matt which shows that even in hard times, no money "to buy a bed" you don't leave your husband. These items are wrapped up in the calabash bowl with a white cloth which also symbolizes peace. The cloth is saved as a burial cloth I believe for the mother to symbolize her daughter was married when she dies. This bowl is brought when the husbands family comes to the brides house & knocks at their door & they say they have come to bring peace & they noticed a rose in the garden & wanted to pick it. Then they come in & they are given cold water. Then "false brides" greet the husband's family & they are asked is this the rose you saw & they will say no until the real bride appears. The calabash bowl is something that grows on a tree that is dried out & used for this ceremony. It is carried by a young virgin child on the father's side & given to the bride. I got this info from my day workers & another married woman here & I probably didnt get everything corrert but this is close I think. I love the symbolism & I think it is a wonderful tradition.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

I Need Africa

I Need Africa More Than Africa Needs Me

This was read tonight at a meeting we had on the ship, I love it & I think you will too.

When I think of Africa, the following images immediately come to mind: Starvation. AIDS. Child soldiers. Genocide. Sex slaves. Orphans. From there, my thoughts naturally turn to how I can help, how I can make a difference. "I am needed here," I think. "They have so little, and I have so much." It's true, there are great tragedies playing out in Africa everyday. There is often a level of suffering here that is unimaginable until you have seen it, and even then it is difficult to believe. But what is even harder is reconciling the challenges that many Africans face with the joy I see in those same people. It's a joy that comes from somewhere I cannot fathom, not within the framework that has been my life to this day.

The images spilling out of my television showed circumstances that could seemingly only equal misery, and I was fooled. I bought into the lie that circumstance defines happiness. The truth is, in Africa I find hearts full of victory, indomitable spirits. In places where despair should thrive, instead I find adults dancing and singing, and children playing soccer with a ball crafted of tied up trash. Instead of payback, I find grace. Here, weekend getaways are not options to provide relief from the pains of daily life. Relationships and faith provide joy. Love is sovereign.
My new reality… I know now that my joy should have no regard for my circumstances. I'm ashamed by my lack of faith, but at the very same moment I am excited by my new pursuit. I'm forced to redefine the meaning of having much or having little. I'm uneasy with the prospect of change and of letting go, but just the thought of freedom is liberating. I want what I have learned to trickle down from my head into my heart - I no longer want to need the "next thing" to have joy.
I'm not saying that Africa does not need our efforts. It absolutely does need our partnership. But for me, I've come to understand that I NEED AFRICA MORE THAN AFRICA NEEDS ME. Why? Because it is Africa that has taught me that possessions in my hands will never be as valuable as peace in my heart. I've learned that I don't need what I have and that I have what I need. These are just a few of this continent's many lessons. I came here to serve and yet I've found that I have so much to learn, and Africa, with all its need, has much to teach me.

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